I Put Some New Shoes On Today

Dear Blogosphere, Bobbi has a confession to make. Today I bought a pair of Reebok Easy Tones. Please, hold your giggles, your chocolate milks is gonna shoot out your nose, and boy does that hurt.

So I did it, I was seduced by the commercial of the skinny bitch with the nice butt who says my butt will look like hers if I wear her shoes.

Lady Foot Locker was possibly the most horrifying experience of my life, especially when the lady untied the shoes and tried to put them on my feet---I'm not a cripple here lady, I just want some trendy exercise shoes. She then added "you can't run in them, you'll twist an ankle." Oh darn. Another pair of shoes I can't run in. Aw shucks.

So now I'm wearing them, and I feel like I'm walking on sand, and my but doesn't hurt yet, and my feet only look mildly stupid. So $100 bucks later I find myself sitting, looking at my nice new shoes, wanting to run.

Bobbi's Guide to Fall

The leaves are changing--somewhere in the country, there is a chill in the air--east of the Rockies, and most importantly a new season of television has premiered. Thus, it can only be deduced that fall is upon us.
Like most autumn seasons, this year will be the year Bobbi stays on her shit, but before the season can really begin, I feel it is my right, no, my duty, to give my guidance to the rest of the cheap, chic world. So here goes nothing.

Numero Uno: Do not make rash decisions involving money while on major pain killers. This decision could result in a shotty new driveway or a myriad of used furniture off Craig's List that really has no place in your home.

The Duce: Home hair coloring kits: never go lighter on your own. It's like how Lauren Grahm says not to cut your own bangs. Just listen. Don't do it. I reccomend checking out the local beauty school for a cheap color.

3: Smile like you mean it at work. No one wants summer to be over. So just fake it, and beautiful things will start to happen.

Four: Do not buy your H-Day costume yet. Take the appropriate amount of time to mull. But don't wait until the 30th either.

V: As tempting as it may be in the Whole Food's checkout line, don't bother buying Martha's Halloween spooktacular. Yeah, it looks cool, but its a bunch of crap you could make without paying $6 and killing a tree. Use your imaginations, that what H. is all about.

666: A new pair of fall shoes--boots mainly--is not only important and fun, it is essential. So tell the judgemental men in your life to suck it and hit the Nine West outlet or the flea market.

7: Take a nod from the Emmy's and check out the winner's work. Haven't seen Mad Men, Big Love, or Tara? Check them out. Seriously, the talent, clothing, and story lines are worth it.

And finally...

Eight: Get crafty. This is the one time of year where it is totally legit to knit yourself into a heap like the craziest old lady in town, so why not embrace it.



Bobbi's Guide to Fall was brought to you from the knowlege and wisdom of Bobbi Noodle, all tips come from the personal experiences of Bobbi's trial and error in daily Fall life, so give them a thoughtful read.

Confessions of a Shoeaholic

Hi. I'm Bobbi [Noodle], and I'm an addict.

I think I began collecting shoes religiously five or so years ago, but it was not until this past summer that my addiction began to truly affect others.

I used to buy heels.  Sometimes they were little black Guess stilettos, or a pair of ballet flats that happened to be only 5 dollars.  But now, I've really gone and done it.

I'm Bobbi and I'm a bootaholic.

Uggs. Frye Boots. Cowboy boots of any shape and color, price is no object.  When I see them, it's like my pinky toe cries out "mine bitches!"

And just like that, the plastic jumps from the innards of my wallet and the boots are mine.  While there may not be any shame in owning a pair of thigh high mocchacins (they were on sale!), there is shame in the fact that my addiction cannot be conquered.  In fact, I'm not even sure where to begin overcomming addiction.  They don't make shoeaholics self-help books.  There are no boot-buyers support groups.  I think I'm on my own with this one.

It is moments like this my wallet and I long for my peanut butter addiction to return.  But until then, at least I'll go broke in style.

Clean Up for the Cheap and Lazy

Got the ironing board blues?

Take your slightly unsightly blouse and trousers into the bathroom during your morning shower. Hang them on the outside of the shower curtain, away from any fly away suds. The steam from the shower will help release wrinkles and make the time-tested 30 second "hand ironing" more effective.

Scuffed pumps?

Attack shoe blemishes with a tube of toothpaste and paper towel. Buff away the scuff in a matter of minutes, and reap the benefits of clean shoes and minty toes.

Foggy mirror?

If the fog from your morning shower (or ironing) slows down your makeup and hair routine, try applying some of your man's shaving cream to the mirror. Rub a small amount all over the mirror, and wipe clean with a towel. The thin layer will prevent the mirror from fogging so you can prevent your makeup from the dreaded Picasso face.