I Put Some New Shoes On Today

Dear Blogosphere, Bobbi has a confession to make. Today I bought a pair of Reebok Easy Tones. Please, hold your giggles, your chocolate milks is gonna shoot out your nose, and boy does that hurt.

So I did it, I was seduced by the commercial of the skinny bitch with the nice butt who says my butt will look like hers if I wear her shoes.

Lady Foot Locker was possibly the most horrifying experience of my life, especially when the lady untied the shoes and tried to put them on my feet---I'm not a cripple here lady, I just want some trendy exercise shoes. She then added "you can't run in them, you'll twist an ankle." Oh darn. Another pair of shoes I can't run in. Aw shucks.

So now I'm wearing them, and I feel like I'm walking on sand, and my but doesn't hurt yet, and my feet only look mildly stupid. So $100 bucks later I find myself sitting, looking at my nice new shoes, wanting to run.

Owls and Cowls?

Bobbi is confused. In a fury of "it's too close to christmas to actually order gifts on time" shopping, I can't seem to escape owls and cowls. So I've written a poem about it.

Owls and Cowls about.
Too many for me to hide from.
Who made them trendy?

No, seriously kids, where in God's name are the owls and cowls coming from? It's everywhere, UO, Anthro, Etsy, EVERYWHERE.

So what's next? Frogs and Clogs? Fishes and Dishes? well?

Even my pals and I at At Home Hipster are exploring the Owl Cowl Craze.

Better Than a Mai Thai

So everyone knows Bobbi hates the gym, but Bobbi being the lady she is does not want to get fat. Getting fat is worse than marrying a republican. So this evening, browsing good ole Etsy, I came across quite possibly the most brilliant thing ever. A hula hoop shop. Yes, hand made hula hoops (who knew). What could be better for my figure than hula?

So it appears Lola runs The Hip Revolution which is quite possibly the coolest/craziest/most entertaining etsy store yet. Not only do these hoops come in a variety of epically named colors, Lola even sells hoop bags. I had no idea hula hoops had bags.

And, even better, The Hip Revolution is out of Olympia, I had no idea you could hula hoop in the rain.

The things you learn...If only I knew how to hula.

Holiday Dinner Dash

The time has come. It is just barely two weeks until the day in which a large majority of main stream folks celebrate a fat guy who brings gifts or a baby of immaculate conception. Either way, it means it is time for holiday parties and no one besides Brie Vandicamp and Martha Stewart have the time to prepare anything to take to a party. So, in traditional Bobbi Noodle fashion, I shall reveal the secrets to the holiday festivity foods...

CUPCAKES:
Get yourself a simple boxed mix, just not white or yellow--hello tacky.
Use half oil half butter.
Use given egg amount.
Add TWO teaspoons canned frosting--vanilla, chocolate, whatever works with your cake flavor---not white--once again, tacky.

The frosting adds mositure and fluff to your cupcakes making them just a little different. The crowd will have no idea they were made by Betty and not you.

FROSTING
Once again, not white--it's tacky. Any frosting you like is good, the whipped ones will seem tacky too, stick to traditionals and add to them--nuts, chips (chocolate, not Lays), a little flavoring--via coffee syrups or extracts. Also, food coloring will ALWAYS give you a fun, festive, homemade look.

BROWNIES
Slightly alter box directions-
Use given amount of eggs.
Cut water amound down by a third and bump up the oil.
Add two tablespoons of a flavored coffee syrup (vanilla, hazelnut, and raspberry work well)
Pour in pan and add a topping--pb, chips, chunks, nuts, reeses, whatever floats your boat.
Cut when cool with a PLASTIC knife. It helps them keep their shape.

PEPPERMINT BARK
My personal fav...
Melt dark chocolate chips in micro, spread evenly on a baking sheet. Freeze ten minutes.
Melt white chocolate chips in micro, spread evenly over dark chocolate layer.
Crush a few candy canes in a baggie, in a towel, with a happer, sprinkle on top of white chocolate. Freeze for another ten. Break and serve. Easy and theraputic.

And there you have it folks. Three ways to cheat yourself into a party that is bound to have food just as good if not better than your sorry excuse for "home baking."

xoxo
Bobbi